


Talk it Out

by cyborgoverlord



Category: Wandersong (Video Game)
Genre: (yet), F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Sexual Frustration, They Don't Bang, Trans Male Character, communication is important
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 08:36:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17403620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyborgoverlord/pseuds/cyborgoverlord
Summary: Miriam has difficulty dealing with certain feelings.





	Talk it Out

**Author's Note:**

> hi i wrote this at 7am don't mind me. i love miriam/bard so this was inevitable. please don't kick me from the fandom. this technically isn't too mature, it's just rated mature as a ... caution, i guess? i'm not comfortable rating anything with sexual content teen.
> 
> bard is trans, as always (writer is trans as well)

It was easy to feel guilty about one’s feelings when you aren’t exactly the most experienced - with friendships, relationships, or just...feelings all together.

It was easy to second-guess and definitely easy to convince yourself that those are odd- or weird, or...bad. Something to be hidden, to swallow deep down and hold forever. Like one of her potions, a volatile mix ready to explode.

Miriam was never one to handle emotions well. She usually withdrew, or, on the other side of the spectrum - explode. No matter what emotion it was. From anger, or fear, or love, or...others.

She and Bard had been in a relationship for a while - if... that’s the right term for it. Neither of them asked the other out. There were no words, nothing like that...just a sense of knowing. A feeling. Bard tells her that he loves her, and she nods - confirming, sometimes a grunt, and he takes that as a return.

They held hands, they kissed - much to both of them being embarrassed and messy, sometimes Miriam’s nose pokes against his cheek, or they bash their noses together - or Bard’s hands grab her cheeks and she’s surprised.

...And Bard is surprisingly shy when it comes to kissing.

She thinks it’s endearing - the red that covers his cheeks and the almost nervous smile he can hardly ever hold back. 

But even though they had been in a relationship for as long as they had - Miriam still feels...reclusive. She still, at times, gets that nagging feeling that she wants too much. That what she wants from him is bad.

The affection, the touches…

Him, really.

From what Miriam could tell - Bard doesn’t feel the same way. Even if he is shy at times, even if he is messy and bashful, he never seems to falter. If either of them mess up a kiss, he always swoops back in. Determined.

(Miriam couldn’t even count the number of kisses anymore.)

They’re close. They’re affectionate - intimate. But somehow, for some reason...Miriam still wants more. And it was a hunger. A need - something deep inside of her. And she felt guilty. She felt like it was wrong. Again, like asking too much.

She knows what it is, of course. She’s not naive or innocent. She knows what it is to...be sexually attracted to another person; to want to pursue something more. She’s read books! She’s experienced things! But never...actually...done anything.

Part of her curses her sheltered upbringing. Maybe if she had more social experience, more of an ability to control her emotions and understand them...maybe she wouldn’t feel so bad about...wanting someone.

Wanting Bard.

Ugh.

It’s too much thinking, too much worrying. Too much anxiety. 

How would she even bring it up? - ‘Oh, hey Bard! I totally wanna get in your pants, but I’m too emotionally constipated to do anything about it! How’s your day?’ -- no. No. Eya, no. Just the thought makes her cringe.

Over the next few days - Miriam can’t help but withdraw herself. She doesn’t know how to deal with the situation, she doesn’t know how to mention it - and because she doesn’t know, she doesn’t want to face it. 

But she only gets more frustrated.

* * *

It isn’t until they’re out one afternoon - tending to Bard’s garden (Miriam has a few plants there, too. For potions!) - that Miriam has to face the consequences of her actions. She isn’t paying attention, really - she’s busy tending to some weeds as Bard’s voice catches her off guard.

“Hey, Miriam…?” she turns - and looks at him. He’s pulling off his gardening gloves and wiping sweat off his forehead, looking more disheveled than usual. She hums in acknowledgement. “Is something bothering you? You’ve been really quiet recently!”

There’s a genuine look of concern on his face - the kind of look and face you can’t help but talk to. One you can trust all your secrets with. But Miriam is too prideful, too stubborn. “I’ve just been tired. Not sleeping well.”

...And he deflates, obviously not happy with her answer. She curses inwardly at the fact that the two know each other too well to truly get away with covering anything up.

“If anything’s wrong, you can tell me!” His tone betrays his words, a hint of anxiety lacing it. He fiddles awkwardly, “Especially if it’s something I’ve done.” -- and this pulls her to attention. He’s blaming  _ himself  _ for this? Of course he is, Eya dammit! He’s too good, far too good. He thinks he’s done something wrong...thinks he’s hurt her and-- and…

Miriam grumbles, though she doesn’t mean to. It’s a grumble at herself - but she realises as soon as it leaves her mouth that Bard may take that as a grumble at him. She finally stands up, brushing the dirt off of her knees and peeling her own gloves off. “I’d rather we talk about this inside.”

Her tone comes off harsher than she intends - mostly due to her own embarrassment. Bard nods, putting his arm out as if to motion her inside. She makes quick work of getting inside, Bard following moments behind her.

“What’s the matter, Miriam?” - she doesn’t respond. Just keeps moving. She sits on the edge of his bed, cursing again the fact that he doesn’t own a, like...sofa or something. The bed is the only appropriate place to sit in here. She gently pats the spot beside her and Bard takes it, though giving her some space.

Which only agitates her more! She doesn’t want space, she...she wants touch! She wants to be touched! And held! And..ugh! And she still can’t bring herself to speak, only playing with a small bunch of fabric from her dress in her hands.

She’s pouting.

“If you wanted more space, you could have asked me, Miriam! If this is because of all the hugs an-” before he can even finish his sentence Miriam groans harshly, before finally speaking up.

“I don’t want space, Bard! I want-- I want more! I want more, and I don’t know how to tell you, and I hate it! I just want  _ you _ , dammit!” Bard doesn’t even get a moment to react before Miriam continues, the cork obviously off the champagne bottle of emotion, “I keep thinking about it-- about you, and I feel bad for it! Like, like it’s...forbidden! Like I shouldn’t, and I don’t even know if you feel the same way and - and, why am I saying this? Why am I running my mouth? Eya  _ dammit _ .”

And Bard looks stunned. Red tinting his cheeks - which makes Miriam realise her own cheeks are burning. He blinks at her, no words forming as he tries to think of something.

What Miriam doesn’t know is that, well - Bard has his own worries. His own concerns. He wasn’t born the way he presents himself, the way he identifies. And it’s something that’s...worried him, to say the least, in this relationship. That’s why he avoided talking about it - that’s a whole other can of worms.

Miriam knows this about him, though. Knows the way he identifies. But his worry doesn’t leave. They hadn’t really...talked about anything that implied that it would be important.

Until now.

And for once, for truly once in a lifetime, Bard is completely speechless. It takes him a moment to gather himself, clearing his throat before he continues. “I...feel the same way, Miriam. I mean. It’s natural!” - and there he goes, instantly trying to make her feel better. To validate her feelings. - “We’re together! And we kiss, and all that stuff, so...that’s just...another step, right? And if we both want it, then, there’s nothing to feel guilty about.”

And now it’s Miriam’s turn to not know how to respond. She can only look at him - some of her worries eased. He’s right, at the end of the day. If...it’s something they both want, then there’s nothing for her to feel guilty about. This is something they...both hunger for. 

Their night ends nice; Bard eventually scoots closer to Miriam as they continue talking. There’s kisses exchanged, touches. As they get ready for bed, there’s a deeper closeness between them - knowing that...they both want each other.

And as they lay together, hands reach areas unsearched - untouched. There’s stifled giggling as they figure themselves and each other out. 

And Miriam is happy.

**Author's Note:**

> i'll uh...write actual smut depending on how well received this is.


End file.
